The Biggest Story Of The Day

Election upsets? Sudden resignations? Blah. They happen with unstartling regularity. But how often does Britney Spears divorce Kevin Federline? The answer, hopes Western civilization, is exactly once. (Incidentally I refuse to call him "K-Fed", and if you do, you're probably an "A-Hole.")

Speculation on the future of "Fed-Ex" (alright, I'm an a-hole) runs rampant among those who actually give a shit about things like this. In a rare act of wise, far-sighted judgment, Spears (or a quick-thinking rep) had her soon-to-be ex sign a pre-nuptial agreement, which he probably mistook for a recording contract. Next on the docket: full custody for Britney, with visitation rights for baby daddy... so long as he remembers which children to visit on the proper days. (He's got some swimmers, I'll give the big doofus that much.)

He sure was, baby.

Watching Federline descend into post-kept obscurity may be as entertaining to watch as the descent of Tom Cruise into utter insanity. Another reality show is definitely in his future; perhaps a team-up with Tom Arnold, Ryan O'Neal and whomever Jennifer Lopez divorced last week.

Spears Upbeat After Filing for Divorce [Chicago Tribune]
'Fed-Ex' Federline has dubious future [Yahoo! News]