Why Not Just Force Him To Play Dungeons & Dragons For 36 Months?

From the land of Rush and hockey pucks comes this staggering tale of judicial cock-blocking:

PETERBOROUGH, Ontario - A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years. (emphasis mine)

The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.

Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.

If this had been my sentence between the ages of 17 and 32, I'm positive I'd get plenty of credit for "time served." Thank you, I'm here all week!

Judge orders man not to have girlfriend [Yahoo! News]