So Long, Screwy... See You In Camaguey

Fidel "I loooooove killing people!" Castro has decided to step down as president-for-life of Cuba. Strangely, he has not stepped down from living. Go figure.

Aside from leading the 1959 revolution that toppled former Cuban leader (and a dick in his own right) Fulgencio Batista, Castro created the kind of Soviet-funded Socialist utopia that got Cubans so excited they couldn't wait to get into rubber rafts and tell their friends in Miami about it.

Castro's successor held a press conference and had this to say:



In response to the news of Castro's retirement, President Bush stated,

"I believe that the change from Fidel Castro ought to begin a period of a democratic transition...Eventually this transition ought to lead to free and fair elections. And I mean free and I mean fair."

The president continued, "Not the kind of election where someone loses the popular vote and still becomes president thanks to a shady judicial ruling. I mean free and fair. And not the kind of elections where voting machines are tampered with and senior voters are confused by poorly-designed ballots.

"I mean free and fair. And not the kind where people who are not allies of the U.S. government get elected to power. I mean free and--"

At that point the president's microphone mysteriously cut off.

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Fidel Castro retires [Yahoo! News]

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