Dazzling Knowledge

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Behold the Power of Gayskull

Via Isegoria: You have to read about how gay He-Man cartoons were.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"Would Master care for another pre-chewed pretzel?"


According to Yahoo! News, current UK prime minister Tony Blair has yet to decide on his plans for the future.

Becoming Dubya's butler would seem like a logical choice, n'est-ce pas?

Labels:

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Demotivators




Check out this site for more of these.

My Uncle Tommy has been in the news recently for his work with injured soldiers. Check out these accounts if you're into feel-good stories, the military, or my family. If you're not into any of those things, then you're a pinko who hates the troops.

Local vet going the distance to help out

Saturday, February 10, 2007
By Jessica Beym
jbeym@sjnewsco.com

WASHINGTON TWP. Thomas Bowe has no relatives recovering in the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.

But that's not stopping him from paying the soldiers a visit.

Bowe, a local veteran and a freight driver, is collecting comfort supplies for about 40 soldiers recovering from injuries sustained in Iraq and Afghanistan.

When he collects enough to fill a 28-foot trailer, he plans to drive them down to Washington and deliver them to the soldiers.

Bowe's employer, Yellow Transportation in Ben Salem, Penn., is soliciting donations from its locations across the county.

Sweat pants, sweat shirts, jackets, sneakers, razors, stamps, and stationary are some of the items needed, Bowe said.

"These wounded soldiers a lot of them are long terms," Bowe said. "Some are double or triple amputees who have a long rehab ahead of them. We kind of forget about them when they come home."

Bowe, who served with the 82nd Airborne Division of the Army in the 1980s, was injured during a training exercise when a piece of shrapnel hit his neck.

"I have a special place in my heart for these guys that get injured," Bowe said.

He's been trying to visit the soldiers since October. Since he doesn't have any immediate family there, the visitation appointment kept getting pushed back.

In the meantime, he asked the hospital what he could do to help the soldiers, and they gave him a laundry list of items these patients need.

"At first I was angry they needed those supplies," Bowe said. "They shouldn't need anything when they get back from that. They should be taken care of."

So Bowe reached out to the Red Cross chapter in Ben Salem and has also received help from his union, Teamsters Local 107.

"We haven't really gotten too much yet," Bowe said. "It's kind of a grassroots effort. We're trying to do our part to help them."

Local residents can drop off items at the Family and Community Services office in the township municipal building at 523 Egg Harbor Road.

Donations will be accepted until March 15. For more information, call Thomas Bowe at (856) 246-6496.


Another story: Township Man to Truck Goods to Washington

iPod Flea

Find out how small Apple is willing to go.

Mooninite Quote Generator

Alright, when I say your name, you say 'here.' And we will assume 'here' is short for 'here I am...rock you like a hurricane. -Ignignokt

More here.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

More on the perky iguana

Mozart the iguana did have his penis amputated, but the other one is working fine, and he's still enjoying a healthy reptilian social life. Weirdest part of this story for me? Both of my parents complained that my post did not include any image of the offending member.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Me Grenadian, Me Play Joke, Me Play National Anthem Of Your Sworn Enemy

It may not be as bad as hearing "Deutschland Über Alles" at the opening of a Holocaust museum, but when you've invested large quantities of money and man-hours into helping rebuild a hurricane-stricken sports arena, you expect that your benefactee could play the right national anthem as thanks.

According to this article at CNEWS, China -- putting the "PR" in "PRC"! -- has begun a whirlwind tour of Caribbean countries, competing with its bitter rival Taiwan to see who can win the most hearts and minds in the region by doling out aid and rebuilding projects to areas stricken by poverty, natural disasters and, worst of all, Chinese tourists (I kid, I kid).

Grenada -- apparently confused by grief in mourning the death of their erstwhile liberator Ronald Reagan -- had decided to switch its diplomatic allegiance in 2005 from Taiwan to China (although in fairness, so have the United States). After Grenada's cricket stadium was devastated by a hurricane, their new best-est buddies helped build them a new one. Both country's representatives gathered last Saturday in the rebuilt stadium for its opening ceremony.

All did not not go as planned. To quote the article:
Chinese Ambassador Qian Hongshan and scores of blue-uniformed Chinese labourers who built Queen's Park stadium as a gift were visibly uncomfortable as Taiwan's anthem echoed inside the 20,000-seat venue.
One red-faced prime minister for Grenada, Keith Mitchell, was heard to say, "I guess we can forget about that new supermarket they promised."

As for the Chinese, it looks like they found a proper way to vent their anger.

Taiwan anthem played at opening of China-financed stadium [canoe]

Labels: , ,

Monday, February 05, 2007

At Least One Slot Paid Out That Morning

Pregnant women, take heed: This might be the first time you've ever heard this advice, but beginning somewhere near the third trimester you might want to avoid smoke-filled rooms with loud noises and bright, flashing lights; otherwise you might find yourself in a situation similar to Nyree Thompson, age 32.

Ms. Thompson was spending last Saturday morning doing what most expectant mothers do -- that is, playing penny slots at a casino (presumably to win money to buy formula) --, when suddenly...
Thompson said she mistook labor pains for gas at first, but after going to the restroom told a security guard that she might be giving birth.

Thompson said the guard thought she was joking. Then her water broke.

"A guard came over and said, 'Don't push,'" Thompson said. "I said, 'Forget you, this baby is coming right now!'"

Hey, that's good luck!


The newborn, named Qualeem, was taken to a nearby hospital and is reportedly doing fine, considering the fact that he was born mere feet from a $10 Pai Gow table. No word yet on whether Ms. Thompson resumed her battle with the one-armed bandit.

Gambler gives birth on N.J. casino floor [Philly.com]

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 01, 2007

More Mooninite Blogging


I hope you are reading this, because I'm posting as hard as I can. I want to point out a few personal highlights of the greatest news story of the Millennium. First, did you know that a Boston bomb squad actually detonated one of the ads? It's true. Also, this is a priceless quote, "police were told about the first package by a transit passenger who spotted it on a column that supports I-93. "This is a perfect example of our passengers taking part in Homeland Security," [MBTA Lt. Sal] Venturelli said."
A perfect example? What would a big silly screwup look like?

Seriously, Where DID The Hippie Hairstyle Come From?

The city of Boston had quite a scare yesterday, it would seem. Al-Qaeda, no longer using passenger planes (soooo five years ago), has switched to planting suspicious-looking Lite Brites featuring cartoon aliens in their quest bring down the Great Satan. Call out the Department of Homeland Security! Well, wake them up!

Oh, it was a publicity stunt for a movie? Uh, never mind.

The two men responsible were apprehended in Boston and released on bail. But at their post-release press conference, they just wouldn't take this whole thing seriously, gosh darnit! As Fox News Channel reminds us before and after every commercial break, WE ARE AT WAR, PEOPLE.



I love listening to the Fox anchorman trying to inject seriousness into this farcical scene. The man can barely contain his angry-white-male outrage.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters [IMDb]

Labels: , ,